Last night I had a very long, very intense, and very thorough discussion with a friend I trust very very much. She knows that the last few weeks of my life have been hectic , somewhat emotional (at times), and a bit life-altering and she just wanted to touch base. We drank coffee (yes, it was a F2F meeting, laughed, cried, laughed again, and just had a good time!)
Toward the middle of the chat (after we had caught up on a lot of topics) she asked me “THE” question. “Can I be honest with you?” (cringe moment) but I said “Sure.”
She said that she has noticed in the last few months that I didn’t seem as relaxed as usual, that I always was upset about something (and usually I am quite content), and that it seems some of my joy was gone. And wondered if I had noticed the same? (it is about now that the tears started!)
She was not being critical — she was wondering. She knows my life, (we have known each other for almost 25 years), she knows what touches my heart, which confuses me……..and she has gone through many seasons of Jen with me. So I trust her when she questions me.
After about 20 minutes of babble on what I thought — (grins) — we got to the heart of the matter. Which is — I am too wired. Extremely wired — and always always on. We took out a piece of paper and honestly wrote down my “Tech” time. This includes twitter, email, gchat, skype, wow, projects, conferences, and more. And then on the other side of the paper, we wrote down the other stuff: church, bible time, movies, books, exercise, school, work, etc. I won’t say that we then took it into an excel spreadsheet — (I did think about it) but I can tell you that it was NOT a 50% split and not even close.
So then we talked about how to fix this……and what area, what part of tech really was upsetting the cart the most. And with all honesty — I admitted that it came down to Twitter. And she smiled and she agreed.
For some people — twitter works. For me, I guess it does not. There are aspects of twitter that are very educational, tech building, and passing on of great resources…….but all in all, that is not how I was using it. (As I have admitted before!)
So we talked about options…..and I decided to go “cold turkey” and today at 7:10am, I deleted my twitter account. Now I know that that might be extreme to you…….but for me, that is how it needs to work.
And the plan is — actually (LOL) I am calling it my online project for the summer — is to roll back the clock and return to life before “twitter” and see how I do. And YES, I am expecting withdrawls and wondering what did I do and also having to deal with criticism and judgments from people. But that is okay.
I won’t be getting the instantaneous links, ustream opportunities, quick laughs, silly banter, and knowing where everyone is (or is not) ………. but I will still have my bloglines, my email account, and skype. So, I won’t be totally out of touch.
So for now @JLWagner has left the twitter building. And I think that that will be okay.
Jen
Good for you! If the balance isn’t there, it all starts to fall apart. I check in to twitter about 5 minutes a week and manage to get a link from something but honestly, I see it in blogs later any way. Your reason is the one reason that I don’t twitter much – I just can’t let it take hold the way it would need to make sense of its use. I prefer regular blogging.
We will miss you! However I totally understand. It is very tough to be “ON” all the time even through text. Good luck finding the balance that you need. I have pulled back a bit myself out of necessity but I am sure I will be back full force when school is out for the summer.
Hugs
Anne (JM)
I give it three days.
@Louise
I am looking forward to just checking blogs. For me, twitter = clutter….but again, that was just me.
@Anne
Smiles, I shall miss our twitter conversation, but you know where to find me.
@MrsDurff
Smiles — just smiles.
Congratulations! Good for you.
Wow, good for you for recognizing a problem and coming up with a solution! Hope this decision works out just the way you hope. We’ll miss you in twitterville though!
@David
Thanks!! I shall miss being a twitter friend with you….but shall see you around on the net, I am sure.
Congrats on the new job.
@Pam
Thanks — so far, so good….just a couple of twitches.
Thanks for your kind words — I shall miss you as well.
Jen
I give it as long as you want it and think that is plain smart!
Jen, balance is best. I congratulate you on making the decision not to get caught up in the momentum that can build with twitter and the various other methods of communication. I too have not been as active and I feel fine. You are a trend setter.
@Ryan Bretag
Smiles — thanks for your kindness….and I’m glad I have your support! Just please remember to email me if you have something that I just GOTTA see. And smiles, I will see you in August. GO CUBBIES!!!
@Vinnie
Smiles — Trendsetter, I think not. But — balance is a necessity which I need to achieve again. I had let it go for 140 characters of “sometimes fluff” and I need to get back the important things.
You both are good friends! Thanks for taking the time to post.
I have stepped back as well in the past couple of months and have found that to be ok. Will miss your (grins) but also know there are other ways to communicate and keep in touch. Have a great summer!
@Robin
Yes, I had noticed that you had stepped back — but as you said, there are other ways to communicate!! So, smiles, lets talk soon!
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Couple of things I have realized since stopping the twitter.
1. I didn’t know how often I let twitter fill my “empty” time. If I had nothing to do, I would turn to twitter for a “quick fix!” Now I find I am turning to a book, going for a walk, etc.
2. I do miss being able to drop something into twitter. I did not realize how I was using it for letting off steam and also just letting my “gang” know how I was doing. I admit that I do miss that.
Smiles — I will share more as I experience “A Twitterless Life”
Hey Jen,
Just dropping a line here to say Hey! I must admit, twitter seems less fun w/o you there…I twittered that tonite-LOL. BUT, I am glad you are following your heart on this…
Hugs to you-
Amy
@Vejraska
Ahhh Amy — how sweet (LOL, should I say “how tweet!”)
I admit it has been a week — and I am dealing with both missing twitter yet also getting some things done — and getting ready to write a blog post about it too.
Your comment touched my heart. It is good to be missed — but that is not why I did this — but it is still good to be missed.
I left you a skype message — let’s catch up soon.
Jen