I Had To Do Something

On Friday Morning, about 9:30  AM, a twitter flashed by with something in the context of praying for shooting in CT.   I quickly ran to google, and saw the news feed about Sandy Hook.

By this time, there was news that an entire class was missing.

I left my office and went over to let my admin know the circumstances and then went to the restroom and was violently ill.

I then dashed over to the Holiday Card Project to check to see if any teachers from Sandy Hook were involved….they were not…..however, I felt no relief….just continued sadness.

That night we had our Preschool Christmas program — and as the children walked in, I burst into tears.  So sad for the parents who would never be able to see their children sing again, yet so utterly grateful that our students were here!

Saturday – I fell deeper into a depression — anger — disbelief — and more!!   Yelling at God, finding solace in scripture, screaming out again, finding comfort again in my faith.   I was on a roller coaster of emotion.

Sunday, on the way to church, I was praying and felt a nudge over and over — “so what are you going to do, Jen?”   My heart — though heavy — so heavy for the loss of life — suddenly became VERY aware of the lives that were going to have to go on.

I began to think of that campus — the grief that will be felt — that we in no way can every comprehend, but we can encourage, pray, and comfort — to let them know that we do care.

So, I wrote a brief letter to the participants of Projects By Jen — urging them to join me in January, February, and March with writing letters of “we are thinking of you” to the teachers who teach at Sandy Hook.

But not right away.

When I lost my best friend — suddenly, unexpectedly, December 5th, 2008 — I had many many friends who comforted me……tremendously….but I still remember most when — in March 2009, a friend called me one day just to say “how are you doing?”

I remembered that — as I started the “A CARING FRIEND” project.   Where we will reach out to the teachers of Sandy Hook — but in a few months.

We will be praying for them NOW….and sending comfort later.

Right now, I am still grieving……I don’t even know any of these families, yet, my heart is so so sad.   Right now, I am thinking of the teachers who lives are going on……but have such sadness….and knew that if it was me, I would want to know that others cared.

So I reached out to my online friends to perhaps join me in helping/encouraging/comforting other teachers……and so far, 464 teachers have said “I have to do something” too.

Just my thoughts today

One comment

  1. Kristin Reuber says:

    As I read this, I feel like I am reading a synopsis of my day Friday and this weekend. Thanks for so aptly conveying what we all are feeling. You are giving us the opportunity to do something, anything, to feel like we are not just sitting idle. This makes a difference!!!! Thank You!

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